should we make a date with mr. grim?

...(a piece i wrote a few semester ago)

Can’t Mrs. lecturer give more subtle assignments. Why do we have to speak about suitable punishments for sex offenders and persuade others that the death penalty isn’t the only way to pull the e-break? Being in a classroom full of devout Muslims, Christians, Hindus, Buddhist and Taoist makes me uncomfortable serving up such a delicate food for thought. The Muslim don’t do pork, no dogs for the Christian, Taoist and Hindus refrain from beef and the Buddhist wants to go all out vegetarian. The majority of diners just aren’t that open-minded to gobble up any opinion serve to them. Besides the menu is just a tad bit distasteful when you aren’t mature for delicacies and would rather have milkshake, cheeseburger and large fries.

If the French gave a damn whether Malaysians dig snails or if Japanese had doubts exporting sushi to our shores, we poor connoisseur would have fork out a fortune just to have a bite. To hell with your sensitivity issues. I don’t care if you have problem swallowing. I for one did not force this down your throat. Dig in or leave the table, I say. I spend minutes concluding this crappy assignment so I could continue with my life. I haven’t the time to listen to you gripe or take care of your upset tummy because I ain’t your mommy.

Now if somebody asks your opinion on giving the death penalty to sex offender, what would you answer? It would be a big NO if you ask me. Why? Obvious isn’t it. Should these scums get the privilege of ending their life after leaving negative emotional marks on their victims? Instead, I would suggest punishments that make their life so miserable they wish Death came crashing through their door with a battering ram and ak47 blazing through the air. Our female counterpart may disagree with me here. For them, these criminals should have a direct hot-line to the grim reaper. Can’t blame them for most victims are from the fairer sex. But hold that thought for a second. Referring to an old saying, different wine compliments different dishes. Red wine for meat and white wine for seafood. I think it should apply with these offenders too. Different offends should incur different wrath. It wouldn’t be fair to let a hardworking rapist meet a fellow molester at the waiting room for the electric joy ride, right?

So what are the alternate punishments? The most common offense would be molesting, a form of sexual harassment whose predator is usually someone you have regular contact with. Could be a family member, one of your acquaintances, even your colleague. Done repeatedly, it makes you feel like a flirty slut who desire attention. What to do if you have exhausted all means to prevent it? You even bottle up your courage and confront the bastard but he stills grab your butt whenever you two bump into each other. Well you could just do him in, but you are not into lesbian sex and want to avoid the trip to the state penitentiary. So do him a favor and make him the local public figure. Announce his kind deeds. Imagine the pride he would feel when those around him gets to know about his little indulgence. Kick back and relax. Let society have a pat on his arse for a change.

Next, introduction of another option for our beloved rapist. Everybody knows that rape occurs when there is penetration. Occurs when a person suddenly had the urges to prove that he is the boss. The alpha male who is in charge or all situation. The omnipotent sex god who can bestow on you multiple orgasm. Usually at the expense of the victims. Once again the death penalty comes to mind. But why let them of the hook so easily? They should be granted more exciting pleasure for their kind blessings on the female community. What better gift than the adrenaline pumping and blood sizzling castration. For those who are in the dark, castration is totally different from circumcision. It’s the balls that get remove instead of the foreskin. But I say, why leave it at that. We should go old school and do it the medieval way. Off with the whole thing I say. Ouch! Bye bye to the days of imposing their authorities on others.

What about sodomy? It seems that nowadays, for some sickos, the vagina ain’t good enough anymore. They have to take a stab at the anus too. What do we do with these nut cases? They aren’t just a threat to womankind. Children could be potential victims. Even guys might suffer the brunt of their instrument. So once again I would vote for castration. A quick clean procedure to incapacitate these offenders. By removing the equipment of their trade and letting them live, we give them the much needed time for reflection on their crime of passion. For the extra touch, why don’t we go without the painkiller and extend the operation time a bit longer just to make sure they get the message. Make it a slow but clean procedure instead.

So far it seems that I was a little bit biassed when putting the blame on sex offenders. In our modern world of equality between both sexes, it isn’t just the men who are committing sex crimes. Let’s see, we have female nannies performing oral sex on their wards, female managers molesting their male employees, female teachers teaching practical sex 101 to their students plus a long list of other interesting stuff which I have yet to encounter. So what actions are to be taken? What punishments are to be handed out? Death penalty? I think that will be for the ladies to decide because I’m starting to run out of ideas. Besides I think if I go real slow, this crap is enough to fill in the required 8 minutes of public speaking and therefore I would like to conclude it with hope that I was able to persuade all of you that the death penalty isn’t the suitable form of punishment for sex offenders (because there are better ways). But who cares whether not I manage to persuade the audience? Mrs. Lecturer just wants to grade our speaking abilities…