compensation in order dude..!!

before...

i really hate to be pissed but after losing my original sony ericsson charger, i had to fork out 20 bucks for a new one(ciplak ler..ori cost like 80++)so imagine when i woke up to find someone who had tried gracefully to help me plug in the ciplak charger,broke off one of its leg..(god have mercy on this kid for i will not be so forgiving..>O)

after

so there u have it..my modified charger(if i get electrocuted because of this lil charger,somebody gonna wish they were so not born..)..now must put on some effort to hassle the culprit to cough up some dough for a new one..>P

sat nite..

last night went for movie with long lost chi mui,gay bud and jr...XD
went to patronize starbucks again..(argh,pokai la like this..)
watch the Simpson which was damn bloody funny..
after movie we went for shisha which i had quited for 4 months d...=.="
next stop was MyHome where i spend my hard earn cash on my chi mui and jr...XD
as the saying goes,1 pic can say a thousand words..so there..


reach home safely although the driver@my chi mui told us earlier that she has been a.a for some time and maybe alcohol intolerant,as if we believe her..(drinking as if its water...XD)
upon reaching home,it hit me..the bloody tom yam fella didn't gave meback my change..argh...

back again..

for the past few days i have been thinking of something to write but it seem that time was just not on my side..what with reading the latest edition of harry potter series n rereading book 1 to 6(to refresh my brain)..so to make up for lost time,i will just cramp everything I've got into 1 single blog post..XD

as usual nothing interesting happen to me last week,except the excursion to koperasi tentera to settle my financial affair with them..that was also the day i fork out 26++buck for Starbucks coffee(my "pundi kencing" was full for awhile but my wallet considerably emptier) thanks to my caffeine addicted buddy(who got infected by a certain "chi mui" of mine) who insisted on me treating him..

caught up with my online manga reading which i have neglected for the past 3 months due to military training(onemanga.com totaly rox!!)..been downloading some series(supernatural seo2 and band of brother>>a bit outdated..XD) plus updating my songs,videoclip and movie collection(thanks mininova.com)..by the way, stumble upon a nice band>>paramore(why didn't anyone told me bout it before=.=)and totally dig their songs....

hmm,so now back home for the weekend(got my first officer weekend pass..XP)..have plans to watch a few movies and of course get "powed" by my siblings and fellow friends due to the bloody 40% increase in salary(government servant mah..XD)..but due to that,no end of year bonus for the year 2007...T.T

3 years ago...

3 years ago, smart ass here joined the army....Looking back, smart ass can say he had gained "invaluable" knowledge, enjoy enough 'bonding sessions' and of course learn to appreciate the freedom his civies peers have at the same time maturing in thoughts and becoming physically fit..XD

Then smart ass was a blundering teen, 17 years into his life and fresh out of secondary school routine which he finally began to like(just transfered into a co-ed from an all-boys school). No one would have expected him to take such a drastic decision as joining the army for in school smart ass wasn't known for his athletic powress or his patriotism. His parents where shock to hear his decision, his relatives were laughing their ass off and his friends were in total blank mode..=.="

But smart ass ignore the taunts and discouragement. He didn't give a damn about it all and joined the army he did. After passing the interview in Kedah, he was given a week of to prepare before reporting at the K.L base. Thus began smart ass's service as a government slave. The first 6 month or better known as the induction period was crap(unlike his current batch of juniors>>3 farkin days..WTF?) and in the first week itself, smart ass lost 4kg of pure body fat. Physical training was hardcore and marching sessions at 2pm were taken by sadistic instructors. In no time smart ass skin tone was as dark as the macha beside him....O.o

Enduring his first year wasn't fun. With the regular harassment by seniors, instructors and officers, smart ass has only 2 words for it..LIFE SUX....Living quarters were cramp, food=crap, and the occasional outing was rare. Learning to cope with his studies and military lifestyle at the same time was not easy. But that was only the tip of the iceberg...

"In your lifetime as a military personnel, you are bound to indulge in some body gratification" says smart ass. This little bit of information unfortunately wasn't in the contract they provided smart ass with(not even in small print securely hidden in some nook/corner). He learn it the hard way, during his first lkpt(latihan ketenteraan perkhidmatan tunggal). What a wonderful surprise.


knuckle on hot tar....(among the many must have decoration)....


Other fun activities smart ass manage to come out alive was the regular/annual iron hill run, obstacle course race and of course the long march competitions, and finally the latest and most interesting of them all, his second installment of lkpt. 2 months have pass since that shit load of grueling military training. Smart ass brain is finally ready to recall the shit he had went through...For all of you civies(including national service trainees>>pussies) out there, be bloody grateful you don't have to put up with the crap smart ass have undergone. It's not that smart ass here regret joining the army, life is tough yeah but the sense of accomplishment, brotherhood and invalueble experience gained is totally worth it(bullshit)...

During lkpt-2, smart ass daily routine daily activities begin at 0600H(maintaining personal hygiene and breakfast not included in the schedule>>he had to allocate time for that) with physical exercise(12kg pack included) which last for about 90 minutes if the trainers are feeling lazy. Then they begin classes in conventional or counter insurgency warfare which last till noon. Fry your brain with another 2 hours of lectures after lunch and at 1530H smart ass and gang begin their evening exercise(from swimming to fitness evaluation..etc) that last till 1830H. They then have dinner at the cadet mess(regimental style) and after that are given time to prepare for the next day activities (depending on situation, it could be river crossing or compass marching..etc). At 2200H sharp they have their role-call. Thats when the fun begins. Smart ass call it hell-time. Officers and nco alike take turn to impart knowledge onto them. On a generous night, smart ass reckon he gets to rack up at least 200-300 push-ups, 1000-2000 jumping jacks, 200-300 squat jump and 200-300 of his all time "favorite" star jump...All this night time activities are necessary to get them sweating just enough to be grateful for the upcoming water drill(drinking 1.5l of water in 1 min) for dehydration prevention(WTF..if you don't sweat in the first place...)...

For those lucky few who get caught with an empty bottle, they get to drink 4.5l the next afternoon(after some 'light' exercise). The scene of smart ass's comrades drinking till water spurt out of their nostril and puking out the lunch they just ate was so cool that smart ass had to join them. And join them he did..twice..XD

lock and loaded..;P

The best part of all this was of course the weapon training. Smart ass get to play with m16, styer aug 5.57mm, m203 grenade launcher, 5.57mm minimi, gp 7.76mm machine gun, law c90, 60mm mortar, claymore mines, grenades and plenty of things that go boom...Other activities include O course, map reading, usage of military comm., 5,8 and 12km of 'jalan laju'(fully equipped with 10+4kg of pack and weapon) and also SLTT(sistem latihan tembak tempur)..

To round up everything, smart ass went for 1 week jungle training at N9, which really open his eyes to what army life is all about(when he say eye opening, he meant that those lucky few that manage to get an average of 6 hour sleep during the whole time in the bloody jungle)...smart ass was on 24 hour stand-to, digging trenches, sent on scouting/recon mission, avoiding enemies(bastard trainers,S.O.B all of them), practicing ambush, being ambush, attacking enemy bases..etc...Ration given to smart ass sucks and his feet were wet the whole time...By the time smart ass came out of the jungle,the sole of his feet came of as well..''=.=

Smart ass think he will leave it at that for now. Latest batch of juniors just came in and smart ass have his duty as a senior to attend to..XD....By the way, a few fun experience have been left out so as not to discourage you from joining the army and experiencing it yourself..;p

I’m running out of sarcastic reading materials. So Mr. Terry Pratcher, you better start writing your ass of and come out with a new book soon. Actually make it three. At least it will keep me entertain for a weekend. As for you Dan Brown, you are one real son of a bitch. Yeah your books were an interesting read. But it got my buddy so mess up that he tries to bring up Christianity every time we hang out together. What the fuck man, I ain’t even Christian (bro if you are reading this, for the fifteen time, I’m not interested in the greatest cover up of humankind history). To j.k.Rowling, you better keep your promise and end you cult by the end of book eight because the story is getting a little bit draggy (and we readers are still waiting for either Ron or Harry to boink Hermoine. Maybe you could do a threesome?). Erm, Singapore ghost story writers, did the spooks get to you guys or is that all you’ve got to offer? The last few books were kind of lame and predictable. Dudes at magic the gathering, could you make a compilation of all the stories like how Sir A.C.Doyle did with his Sherlock’s series? For those who haven't read Anthony Horowitz's raven's gate and evil star, i would recomend to give it a shot. And to the thieving dickhead who got my white swan and memoir of a geisha, when can I get them back. It better sill be in mint condition or someone is getting an eggplant up their hinny...by the time this is being read, I would probably have finished with "thud",a Pratcher's piece...

should we make a date with mr. grim?

...(a piece i wrote a few semester ago)

Can’t Mrs. lecturer give more subtle assignments. Why do we have to speak about suitable punishments for sex offenders and persuade others that the death penalty isn’t the only way to pull the e-break? Being in a classroom full of devout Muslims, Christians, Hindus, Buddhist and Taoist makes me uncomfortable serving up such a delicate food for thought. The Muslim don’t do pork, no dogs for the Christian, Taoist and Hindus refrain from beef and the Buddhist wants to go all out vegetarian. The majority of diners just aren’t that open-minded to gobble up any opinion serve to them. Besides the menu is just a tad bit distasteful when you aren’t mature for delicacies and would rather have milkshake, cheeseburger and large fries.

If the French gave a damn whether Malaysians dig snails or if Japanese had doubts exporting sushi to our shores, we poor connoisseur would have fork out a fortune just to have a bite. To hell with your sensitivity issues. I don’t care if you have problem swallowing. I for one did not force this down your throat. Dig in or leave the table, I say. I spend minutes concluding this crappy assignment so I could continue with my life. I haven’t the time to listen to you gripe or take care of your upset tummy because I ain’t your mommy.

Now if somebody asks your opinion on giving the death penalty to sex offender, what would you answer? It would be a big NO if you ask me. Why? Obvious isn’t it. Should these scums get the privilege of ending their life after leaving negative emotional marks on their victims? Instead, I would suggest punishments that make their life so miserable they wish Death came crashing through their door with a battering ram and ak47 blazing through the air. Our female counterpart may disagree with me here. For them, these criminals should have a direct hot-line to the grim reaper. Can’t blame them for most victims are from the fairer sex. But hold that thought for a second. Referring to an old saying, different wine compliments different dishes. Red wine for meat and white wine for seafood. I think it should apply with these offenders too. Different offends should incur different wrath. It wouldn’t be fair to let a hardworking rapist meet a fellow molester at the waiting room for the electric joy ride, right?

So what are the alternate punishments? The most common offense would be molesting, a form of sexual harassment whose predator is usually someone you have regular contact with. Could be a family member, one of your acquaintances, even your colleague. Done repeatedly, it makes you feel like a flirty slut who desire attention. What to do if you have exhausted all means to prevent it? You even bottle up your courage and confront the bastard but he stills grab your butt whenever you two bump into each other. Well you could just do him in, but you are not into lesbian sex and want to avoid the trip to the state penitentiary. So do him a favor and make him the local public figure. Announce his kind deeds. Imagine the pride he would feel when those around him gets to know about his little indulgence. Kick back and relax. Let society have a pat on his arse for a change.

Next, introduction of another option for our beloved rapist. Everybody knows that rape occurs when there is penetration. Occurs when a person suddenly had the urges to prove that he is the boss. The alpha male who is in charge or all situation. The omnipotent sex god who can bestow on you multiple orgasm. Usually at the expense of the victims. Once again the death penalty comes to mind. But why let them of the hook so easily? They should be granted more exciting pleasure for their kind blessings on the female community. What better gift than the adrenaline pumping and blood sizzling castration. For those who are in the dark, castration is totally different from circumcision. It’s the balls that get remove instead of the foreskin. But I say, why leave it at that. We should go old school and do it the medieval way. Off with the whole thing I say. Ouch! Bye bye to the days of imposing their authorities on others.

What about sodomy? It seems that nowadays, for some sickos, the vagina ain’t good enough anymore. They have to take a stab at the anus too. What do we do with these nut cases? They aren’t just a threat to womankind. Children could be potential victims. Even guys might suffer the brunt of their instrument. So once again I would vote for castration. A quick clean procedure to incapacitate these offenders. By removing the equipment of their trade and letting them live, we give them the much needed time for reflection on their crime of passion. For the extra touch, why don’t we go without the painkiller and extend the operation time a bit longer just to make sure they get the message. Make it a slow but clean procedure instead.

So far it seems that I was a little bit biassed when putting the blame on sex offenders. In our modern world of equality between both sexes, it isn’t just the men who are committing sex crimes. Let’s see, we have female nannies performing oral sex on their wards, female managers molesting their male employees, female teachers teaching practical sex 101 to their students plus a long list of other interesting stuff which I have yet to encounter. So what actions are to be taken? What punishments are to be handed out? Death penalty? I think that will be for the ladies to decide because I’m starting to run out of ideas. Besides I think if I go real slow, this crap is enough to fill in the required 8 minutes of public speaking and therefore I would like to conclude it with hope that I was able to persuade all of you that the death penalty isn’t the suitable form of punishment for sex offenders (because there are better ways). But who cares whether not I manage to persuade the audience? Mrs. Lecturer just wants to grade our speaking abilities…

ethnic cleansing..

Ethnic cleansing has been enjoyed by many since the dawn of time. You can bet someone up there plan this to a t. What great wisdom he possesses. It's a fun way to not only control population overgrowth but a great way to reserve our limited resources. Respect man. Back to the present, how does one perform ethnic cleansing? To have a commendable performance, surely you need the guidance of professionals. So whom do you turn to for this gruesomely exciting assignment? For your information, there are many experts in this field who I'm sure are more than glad to share with you their expertise.
You could try asking the Japanese who went on a rampage in Korea, China and even Malaysia back then. Remember their murder of Chinese in the 40's in our beloved country? Or go to the Serbs who tried to rid the planet of Albanians. You could also try asking the Germans. They had a great time doing in the Jews. Last but not least, don't forget the Americans. A true expert in ethnic cleansing. they are a step ahead in the game. They can perform ethnic cleansing on any race on the pretext of preventing ethnic cleansing from happening. Remember, they dropped two bombs on japan to prevent the Japaneses from wiping out the Chinese. How about when they went to war against Germany to save the Jews and liberate the French, killing plenty of Germans in the process. Don't forget them helping Albanians' militant by suppling arms so they can counter the Serbs. Killing two birds with one stone. Classic. The Middle East got a taste of their skills in the war against terror too. I dare wager my salary, if they were back in the Ceaser's era, they would have blast Rome to hell in order to save the Gauls. Hardcore hypocrite I tell u. So there you have it. If you are interested in planning genocides, you know where to turn to for help don't you. With the current increment of population and drastic demands for resources, you really should plan one. Consider it your private project to make our world a better place to live in. Have fun with your assignment. Those before you sure did enjoy it, that's for sure.....